Fun in the Sun
by A Faggot
Summary: ...for everyone but Maki, who regrets everything.


**Daisuke Ishiwatari - Destructive Goodwill**

* * *

 **Fun in the Sun**

Maki sighs in content and tips the brim of her sunhat down.

When the Idiot Trio first begged her to let Muse use her beach house for the last weekend of summer break, Maki was reluctant to agree. But she has to admit...

This is nice.

The sunlight on her bare skin feels great. The water below is cool and refreshing. Floating on a rubber ring in the sea makes the redhead feel so relaxed, so _boneless._ Maybe she should thank the Idiot Trio for getting her out like this.

...On second thought, that doesn't sound like a good idea. It'd be way too embarrassing.

Speaking of the Idiot Trio, Maki wonders where they are. They're not exactly known for being quiet, and yet she can't hear them, or any of the other members of Muse, right now. The pianist peaks out from underneath her hat. There's Umi and Kotori strolling by the shoreline and chatting. Nozomi, Hanayo and Eli seem to be trekking back to the house to grab something. But wait...

...when did she get so far from shore?

...

And is she getting farther? Crap. Is she caught in a rip current? Maki had better start paddling back before she gets too far. At this rate—

"MAKI (NYA)!" Three pairs of arms burst out from the surface of the water, capsizing the first year and tossing her into the water. Maki is caught off guard and unable to get a breath before going under. True to her suspicions, there is a _very_ strong rip current **and** undertow in this section of water. Maki struggles to swim to the surface, and is only able to choke out "Riptide!" before going under again.

"Maki~ we dragged you out here so you could play with us, not so you could float on a rubber tube all day," whines Honoka.

"Nyeah!" agrees Rin.

Maki not only doesn't respond, but she doesn't even surface.

...

"But what's a riptide, nya?"

"Isn't that a strong ocean current that carries people out to sea?" Nico answers.

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 **"Oh crap!"**

The three idiots quickly dive into the water. Sure enough, Maki is rapidly drowning despite her best efforts to fight the flow. The trio swiftly grabs her by the arms and start kicking towards the surface. Individually, they may not be the strongest swimmers, but together they break through the top in no time at all. They're not safe yet; there's still the rip current to fight. Legs aching and lungs burning, the three of them manages to drag a limp Maki to the safety of the beach.

"You guys really messed up," reprimands Nico.

"But this was your idea!"

"Details, details!"

"Uh, guys? Maki isn't breathing, nya."

"What?"

It's true, there's no rise and fall to the redhead's chest at all. If this continues...

"AAAAAHHH! WHATDOWEDOWHATDOWEDOWHATDOWEDO?"

"Wait!" exclaims Nico. "We need to be calm in a situation like this."

"But Maki's the one with medical expertise."

"Then we gotta ask ourselves, what would Maki do?"

"OPERATE, NYA!"

"Great. Rin, do that."

"Roger, nya! Scalpel!"

"Scalpel!" answers Honoka as she hands orange haired first year a butter knife.

"Blood-bucket!"

"Blood-bucket!" a blue plastic bucket is passed her way.

"Soy sauce!"

"Soy—wait what?"

"Rin, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

"Making some ramen, nya. We've been outside for a while and I'm hungry."

"What are you even making ramen with?"

"Nothing you can't normally find on a beach, nya."

"That's disgusting."

"What did you say, nya? I'll have you knyeow I trained for years under the renowned school of the Toujoufuhai, and I won't tolerate such an insult to its name!"

Rin and Nico glare at each other intensely. This is going to have to be settled by a cook-off.

"Uh, can that wait?" asks Honoka. "Maki's kinda dying over here."

"Oh, right. Well, operating on her didn't work. What now?"

"Well, I flipped through a first aid book once," supplies the second year ginger. "There's a technique you're supposed to do in situations like this. I think it was called _mouth-to-mouth resurrection._ "

"Nya! Rin's heard of that too! But wasn't it called mouth-to-mouth insurrection?"

"You're both wrong. It's called mouth-to-mouth resusciticulativitorially-ation."

"Wooooooooow..."

"As expected of our senior, to know such big words, nya."

"Now the question is, who's gonna do it?"

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...

"Dibs!" the three of them shouts in unison.

 **"Dang!"**

They stare at each other in amazement as they yell in perfect synchronization again.

 **"Dibs!"**

 **"Dibs!"**

 **"DIBS!"**

"Wait, nya! Before we do that, we're supposed to do something else first!"

"That's right; we gotta do chest compressions to get the seawater out of her lungs."

" _Chest_ compressions, you say?"

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...

...

 **"Dibs!"**

"Goddamnit, not again!" growls Nico. "Look, Maki's life is on the line, there's no time to be lost. So how's about I pull seniority and just go ahead and do it?"

Pouts come from Honoka and Rin, but they're not about to argue with that reasoning. Nico kneels down and starts ministering to the comatose redhead.

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"...Nico, those compressions are way too soft."

"Nyeah, it looks like you're groping her instead."

...

...

"...Nico?"

"HUH? WHAT? I'M NOT A PERVERT!"

"No one said you were...?"

"Nico, why's your face all red, nya?"

Before the ravenette can sputter out a response, Honoka bumps the shorter senior aside. "My turn, my turn!"

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"You're not pumping any harder than I was."

...

"WHAT'S WITH THAT SHIT-EATING GRIN ON YOUR FACE?"

"Nya! Maki's turning blue! Out of the way, nya!"

"Hwa?" is all Honoka can say as she's unceremoniously tossed aside. Rin hurriedly kneels down and begins pressing with vigor.

 _Snap._

"Snap?"

 _Crackle._

"Crackle?"

 _Pop._

"Pop, nya?"

...

...

...

"RIN, YOU TURNED MAKI INTO RICE KRISPIES!"

"AAAAAAAHHH! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"

"NYAAAA! I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY!"

Confused and afraid, the Idiot Trio spring to their feet and run in circles around the unconscious composer.

"WHATDOWEDOWHATDOWEDOWHATDOWEDO?"

"Ah." In a classic moment of Honoka-clumsiness, the leader of the bunch trips on an uneven patch of sand. Miraculously, she doesn't completely lose her balance.

"Ah." Nico is unable to stop in time and collides into her. Luckily, the third year is small enough that they still don't fall over.

"Nya." Rin also bumps into them. That does it.

 _WHUMF!_

The three idiots keel over and collapse on top of Maki. Fortunately for them, this impact is enough to dislodge the water stuck in the redhead's lungs. Maki coughs up dirty seawater all over the faces of the Idiot Trio.

"Maki!"

"Maki!"

"Maki, nya!"

The redhead glares at them with equal amounts of gratitude and desire to knock their teeth out.

"Get off me—ow!"

"Maki, what's wrong?"

"You must've broken my some of my ribs during the CPR," whispers Maki hoarsely. "It saved my life, so I'm not complaining, but you'd better call an ambulance."

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, and Maki is loaded onto an ambulance and driven away. The aspiring doctor had given the group permission to stay at the beach house for the rest of the weekend, but the Idiot Trio didn't miss the dirty glare she sent their way before the ambulance doors closed.

The three idiots stand together in somber silence watching the vehicle recede into the distance.

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"...Wanna bother Umi?"

"Hell yeah."

* * *

 **Wow, a story without crutches.**


End file.
